Geez, you'd think he'd at least be a little less blatant.

We had a very bad drunk-driving problem on military bases in Germany back in the day, so base commanders ran a small shuttle bus for mess patrons. We called it the Drunk Bus, of course, and it kept the inebriated out of the clutches of the military police at a fair old rate.

The Kerry publican would be roundly praised as the benefactor of the townland if he only took the trouble. He would have to find an abstaining driver, mind you.