You can't move from sympathy, regrets, and comforting thoughts to solutions. You have to to first figure out what the problem really is, and, after that, you may begin to speculate as to what to do about it. I doesn't matter how upset you are, it doesn't matter how many caps or italics you use. You can underscore and paste question marks all over everything, but that doesn't mean that you have an answer. It doesn't even mean you're asking the right questions.