Phil doesn't want "QV was a shit" or "Hit the road, Liz" - he's actually complaining about being offered that stuff when what he's really he's looking for is "Off with his head", "Cromwell had the right idea", "I've got a guillotine for you, Louis", "The only good king is a dead one" or even just "All monarchs are bastards"

Can't you come up with anything along those lines?