I buy only Young's fish fingers when they're a quid for a box of ten at Morrisons. Ignore all cooking instructions on the pack and proceed as follows: put a good slosh of groundnut oil in a frying pan (you really need one with some kind of lid for this). Get it very hot with the ring on full blast. Put all ten fish fingers (Young's ones are only little) in the pan straight from the freezer. Cover. After one minute, reduce the heat to half-whack. Shuffle the fish fingers round a bit to stop 'em sticking. Cover and leave for another four minutes (during which time cut yourself two nice big slices of bread). Put kettle on for mug of tea. Remove pan from heat and allow to cool slightly (otherwise you get spat on when you take the lid off). Turn the heat back up to full whack. Mash tea bag in mug. Off the heat, turn the fish fingers over, cover and put back on full heat. Find butter and knife. After one minute turn heat down to half-whack again and shuffle to avoid sticking. Leave for three or four minutes (use common sense). Meanwhile, butter your two slices with a worrying large amount of butter (...only butter. If you use use one of those silly substitutes, abandon the whole enterprise right now). Stir tea, remove tea bag and add milk. Scoop fish fingers on to plate (don't be too fussy about leaving the oil behind in the pan: you can, and should, have some on the plate to mop up with your bread crusts). Eat, making butties with some of the fish fingers and devouring those that won't fit. Go into garden and dig for two hours.