My wife and I adopted four older children at different times bween 1984 and 19992. Our kids all came from different families ( two were half-sisters)and were 13, 12, 11 and 8 when they came into our lives. All had experienced abuse and crazy parenting and foster parenting by the time they got to us with their things in black garbage bags. I've seen so many foster kids and throw away kids moving with those ugly bags-we call it foster kid Sampsonite. All my kids had a moutain of guilt, suspition, anger and unmet needs that we had to deal with right away. This was the most intense and exhausting fifteeen years of my life (so far!)MY world was shaken and turned upside down by the experience. I would say to anyone who is thinking about this that you will be having life with all the jalapenos you want. I don't regret a thing, though we went through a lot of grief, anger and pain to get to where we are now. My kids love their parents and we love them. My oldest daughter, now 31, is loving and caring and is working to save the childhood of other kids. My son is in prison, but we have a very warm personal relationship. My other daughter is on the road somewhere, and my third daughter is in China with us. IF you contact me on my personal mail, I'll tell you more about it. Seth from China