I make fishcakes from tinned wild red salmon and mashed spuds, 50-50 by weight. I think that's got to be the proportion. Golden rule: leave the fish in nice chunks, not mashed to smithereens. Put fish and cold mashed spuds in a big bowl (I dunno, maybe 300 grams of each), add a good grating of parmesan and a good dash of paprika, season. Add one beaten egg. Mix gently and form into fishcake-sized patties. Now here's the trick. Open-freeze your fishcakes then stuff them all into a freezer bag.

When you want fishcakes for tea, don't thaw them out! Here's what you do. You need a little bowl of flour, a bowl of beaten egg and some breadcrumbs. Get your frying pan on with some oil in it and heat. Turn on your oven to very low indeed (110C is plenty). Dredge each frozen fishcake in flour, then egg, then crumbs and place in frying pan. Still frozen. After two minutes per side they will still be rock-hard but will have a nice golden-brown crust. Put into oven spread out on a baking tray lined with kitchen towel (yeah, really!)

You can leave them in the low oven for an hour or more. An hour and a half will allow you to go off for a good shag, watch EastEnders omnibus and have a nice post-coital glass of dry white each. Just before you're ready to eat, cook veg of your choice. Frozen peas are good as is purple sprouting broccoli, and a supermarket jar of tartar sauce or hollandaise (warmed up) would be good. Serve up on warmed plates and wash down with rest of bottle of white. Shamelessly lifted (more or less) from Nigella's How To Eat. I tell you, you'll eat at least three and you'll want more. Your body telling you that you need Omega 3 innit.