Linn, I will say all the below after many weeks on home health and serious post-op complications. The following is not to say you have not been doing a great job-- YOU HAVE. But the health care system we now have is designed to wear you to a frazzle so that you become the next patient. So it's a good idea to be smarter than that!!! :~)


BEST: The visiting nurse, if you trust him/her-- the main, regular one-- will be able to tell you exactly what to look for that needs immediate attention. (Mine did, twice, and the "extra one" who came when called on main-nurse's instrux... saved my life-- twice.)

So don't beat yourself up for "over-reacting", and please know that the main nurse can save you all that worry in future. (Mine wrote down the specifics, because I was on enough pain meds that I needed Hardi to see the instrux himself and not take my word for my recall.)


NEXT: But ultimately you have to trust your gut, and if you need to take Tom to get checked, do it-- but please ALSO remember that you may have friends within phone reach to help manage the process (and the aftermath). A HUGE part of my recovery has been thinking clearly and creatively about non-medical supports that are so GREAT it's hard to believe that, for the helpers, it was a piece of cake they were happy to help with. One BIG one was the till-recently "anonymous" January shopper: groceries, prescriptions, a print job.... at a time when I AND my spouse could not shoulder one more thing. I also had a laundry helper on call, people bringing the right kinds of meals on call (from their freezers), people who took me to appointments when I needed help in and out of the car...... this weekend I repaid that into another friend's support system (lung cancer post-op, daily shifts of non-anxious helpers).

So please, share the load. People love you and Tom. They just need a little direction so they don't feel.... intrusive. (My shopping friend's interruptive response, when I tried to thank her-- "Are you SERIOUS!?!?!?!")

~Susan