Dearie me. Jack is the archetypal po-faced provocateur. We do have history, you know. We're OK when he wisely keeps his distance, but he has this habit of weakening and having a pitch every now and then. I know how you love him, despite your protestations (come on now - it can be perfectly manly, you know!), but do try to be even-handed. I'll be disappointed if you turn out not to be, but one will crack on regardless in any case. Northern grit they call it (did I tell you I was a northerner, Michael?)