some atheists are clearly 'really atheists' and almost defined by being anti-religion (not merely anti-christian)

You see, this is the kind of thing that wells up from the veritable swamps of whimsy expressed in some of the lengthier contributions to this thread. I have no dealings at all with your God. I've decided from all the honestly-gleaned evidence I have that he probably doesn't exist and I can therefore continue with life in spite of what anyone else happens to think of him.

Know summat? I don't collect beer bottle labels. I have no dealings with beer bottle labels or beer bottle label collectors, at least not in their capacity as beer bottle label collectors. But I have nothing against either the labels or their collectors. That's their private affair, and jolly good luck to them! But suppose one of said collectors decided that it wasn't right that I should take no interest in his pastime, and sought to gain my attention by supergluing beer bottle labels all over my car windscreen, and got all his like-minded mates to do the same to my other non-beer bottle label collecting mates. Not only that, they go out and stick beer bottle labels all over the lamp-posts and walls down the high street. They then go down to the local school and try to insist that they get half an hour a day to tell children about the joys of beer bottle label collecting (and, while they're at it, tell them of the evils of wine bottle label collecting and demonise those who indulge in that degenerate habit...)

Now, as with beer bottle label collecting, so with religion. There is nothing intrinsic about religion that I need to be "anti" (unless I'm neurotic, of course). Live and let live. But work out the point at which I might begin to get "anti" beer bottle collecting in the above narrative. It won't be at the beginning of my yarn, will it? It will occur at some point during the progress of the tale - and when I do start to get annoyed, or "anti", that feeling will have been engendered not from inside me because I hate beer bottle label collectors as a genre (which I don't), but as a consequence of the actions of the beer bottle label collectors. Actions such as interfering with my life, intruding on my enjoyment of the planet and trying to indoctrinate the kids, for example...

I have privately told Joe that I think the Catholics of this world, especially but not exclusively the ones who live in Africa and Latin America, and more especially the women, deserve a better deal than they get from their church. They won't get a better deal by atheists or anyone else attempting to demolish the Catholic church. They will get a better deal by Catholics taking more of a hold and making their church better. Islamic people who are forced to abide by laws that many of us regard as illiberal and misogynistic will not get a better deal by western powers constantly waging wars on them. You can be as anti-religion as you like, inside your head, but a good atheist's actions (or stated opinions even) are not best informed by overt anti-religionism. You will nearly always find that honest, thinking atheists (and I'm the first to admit that there are other kinds), though they invariably disapprove of organised religions and the propagation of myth as truth, are absolutely fine with people's private beliefs ("tolerant" is far too conditional a word here). Of course, if debate is invited, even private beliefs can be challenged (I certainly expect my convictions to be tested and I welcome that). Challenged but not disrespected, as long as they are honestly wrought and not predicated on bigotry. There is room for argument as to when private beliefs cease to be private and start to be a bit more like the labels stuck on my windscreen. The latter is clear enough, but I worry a bit when I hear calls for Christians to be left alone to enjoy their private beliefs (as has recently been expressed here). Well, if you don't bring it up I won't, but if it does come up I have one or two awkward questions. My main one always is, do you want to be left alone with your private beliefs so you can pass them on to your kids, or will you show your kids how to demand evidence and fearlessly challenge the very existence of the God you'd like them to worship with you, and accept their answer even if it isn't your answer? Now that I could really respect!

So don't call me anti-religion. It's lazy, it trips off the tongue way too easily and it's cloudy thinking. It's more complicated than that and it requires more thought than you're putting into it. Like what I've just done.