ANTONIO PASQUALE RAMONIO
As sung by Frank Crumit on "Vintage Recordings 1926-1938"

Did you ever meet Tony Ramonio?
In his country the call him a Romeo.
All the girls they grow craze'
Through one look in the faze
Of Antony Pasquale Ramonio.
He wears ties just the shade of pistachio,
With a great big ferocious mustachio,
And a watch-chain so large,
Stretched across his garage,
That spells three-ninety-eight in cold cash-io.

He sings opera from Faust to Il Trovatore.
You can hear him from Naples to Singapore.
When he first hit Broadway,
He let loose his high A,
And he broke all the lights in the semaphore.
He went up for a test on the radio,
To sing Ave Maria with a lady-o,
But the strength of his breath
Nearly scared her to death.
That's the last test that he ever made-io.

Now Pasquale was always a struggler.
And one day he got a tip from a juggler.
His mustache it could hide
Twenty people inside,
So he landed a job as a smuggler.
He made three trips a week into Canada.
He would pose as a well-to-do janita,
And in less than a year,
He made ten thousand clear,
Which he lost on a horse called Armanada.

In the opera his name was notorious,
So they gave him a part that was glorious,
But he tried to be choice,
Used a falsetto voice,
And they shoved him right back in the chorius.
Now since Pasquale lost all of his money-o,
He found life over here was no honey-o,
So he packed up today
And he's sailing away
To the land of his birth where it's sunny-o.