MY GIRL RAN AWAY
As sung by Frank Crumit on "Vintage Recordings 1926-1938"

Little Petey has lost his sweetie.
Someone stole her away.
Her misbehaving has sent him raving.
He keeps crying all day:

My girl ran away with a baker.
I found out she kneaded his dough.
Somewhere in the yeast he will take her,
Though he is not well-bread I know.
He has lots of crust and he carries a bun.
It was pie for that guy to steal my own sweet one.
My girl ran away with a baker.
He's made a big loafer of me.

My girl ran away with a shoe-man.
I'm sad 'cause he's filling my shoe.
I had a defeet by the shoe-man.
Now each day my size makes me blue.
Though my French vamp kid said she'd stick to the last,
Made a rip in my sole that I know won't heel fast.
My girl ran away with a shoe-man.
I hope they will always have spats.

My girl ran away with an oil-man.
She did not treat me well at that.
She is too refined for the oil-man,
But he gushed till he made her fall.
Though he is as crude as a Mexican peat,
With his own standard line of gas, he had me beat.
My girl ran away with an oil-man.
The oily bird catches the worm.

My girl ran away with a butcher.
Now I can't meat her every night.
She went to Hamburg with the butcher.
Oh, why did I liver from my side?
Though I live on the vegetarian plan,
I would be a real cannibal to meat that man.
My girl ran away with a butcher.
Oh, I lung for my heart every day.

My girl ran away with a dentist.
He yanked my tootsie right away.
She sits on the bridge with a dentist.
Oh, I'd like to crown him some fine day.
Although she is false, there's none can fill her place.
She's made an impression that I can't erase.
My girl ran away with a dentist.
Oh, I hope that he gets pyorrhea.

My girl ran away with the army.
Maybe with the navy she's gone.
I know she'll be true to the army,
For her love is too strong for one.
She kisses her friends, only turns others down,
But she hasn't an enemy at all in the town.
My girl ran away with the army.
Prepare for another big war.