I can fill in the camel joke( wouldn't you just know it......Officer gets posted to the French Foreign Legion, Outpost from Hell Division.All they have there are a couple of tents, a well and a camel.
New chap says " I say, corporal! What does one do when one is a feeling in need of ....erm...female company, so to speak?" Corporal says " Well Sir, we just avail ourselves of the camel". New chap is a little startled by this and decides, as it isn't a particularly attractive specimen, he isn't likely ever to become that desperate.....however...some weeks and months go by and damn me if that camel isn't looking kind of fetching after all.
Eventually his resolve crumbles and he orders the men to get the beast bathed and sent into his tent where a night of passion ensues.Chap emerges from his tent the following morning looking somewhat shamefaced but a lot relieved and says," Damn good idea, having that camel about".The corporal says " Well, yes, I suppose so, but the rest of us usually just ride it into town".