Here's Frank Crumit's version. Note that all the limericks, except the introductory "clean" one, are different from Sarony's. I don't have any completing lines for limericks 2-8. Your suggestions are welcome.


RHYMES
As sung by Frank Crumit on "Frank Crumit Returns (1920-1938)"

I'm just about to hold a competition.
It's just a little bright idea of mine.
I'm going to write a rhyming composition,
And then leave you to add the ending line.
I'll sing the whole thing first in case of doubt.
The second time, I'll leave the last line out.

1. Now there was a young lady from Wheeling
Who walked upside down on the ceiling.
She fell on her neck
And she shouted, "By heck,
It's a very peculiar feeling!"

(That was a cute little rhyme. Sing us another one, do.)

All right—

2. There once was a guy from Savannah
Who slipped on a peel of banana.
He let out a squeak
'Cause his hip sprang a leak.
(La-da, da-da-da, da-da-da, da-da.)

3. Mr. Jones is a golfing fanatic,
But his game is rather erratic.
He's got a bad stance.
It's the fault of his pants.
(La-da, da-da-da, da-da-da, da-da.)

(That was a cute little rhyme. Sing us another one, do.)

Very well—

4. There was a young fellow named Sackett
Who was in some sort of a racket.
He went out for a ride
With some friends by his side.
(La-da, da-da-da, da-da-da, da-da.)

5. There once was a fellow named Gandhi
Who wore the first sheet that was handy.
That was all he would wear.
If by chance it would tear,
(La-da, da-da-da, da-da-da, da-da.)

(That was a cute little rhyme. Sing us another one, do.)

Quite so!

6. Now this was a fellow from Kansas
Whose favorite flower was pansies.
He's learning to sew,
But his dad doesn't know.
(La-da, da-da-da, da-da-da, da-da.)

7. There was a young fellow from Camden
Who put on the brakes and he jammed 'em.
But it was too late,
For along came a freight.
(La-da, da-da-da, da-da-da, da-da.)

8. There was a young girl named Melinda
Who used to doll up by her window.
We would wait ev'ry night,
But she'd turn out the light.
(La-da, da-da-da, da-da-da, da-da.)