Dear Joe,

my mum, 89 with dementia, lives with us. I have music from the 30's and 40,s playing during the day and at night if she is confused. Lots of old family photos every where in her room and I am making a memory book so tha visiters and carers( we have private care so I can still go out to work, mum cannot be left on her own)can know all about her and remind her of her happy life.

If we have respite care we have someone come and stay here as mum would be too confused and distressed to go to a nursing home for even just a few days stay.

I do agree, you and your wife MUST look after yourselves and have some time for yourselves, Billy and I have had three weekends away in the past two years. Now he has just found out his Chemo treatment has put him into remission I am determinded to have weekends away this year, but it is difficalt to have the confidence to leave mum with someone else!

I am sure your mother in law feels safe and loved, even when confused , she knows you are caring for her and she is in the place she knows is home. Keep singing and be kind to yourself!!

With love and thinking of you

Wendy