There are many caregivers among us here at the Mudcat community, but each one of our circumstances and situations is different. I'm two classes into a six-class series on "Powerful Tools for Caregivers" -- primarily about how the caregiver absolutely needs to take care of one's self in order to care for the care receiver. About a half dozen of us in the class and each one of our situations are very different from the others, but we all have the stress and need for information in common. And sometimes the isolation or feeling of "why me?". A caregivers' permathread or monthly thread (like the de-clutterers) for exchanging information and moral support and encouragement.

Joe, I'd go with the music for your mother-in-law. Live, of course, is wonderful, but we have so many options for recorded music.

I have a friend (who used to be local, but now lives in Ontario) who plays celtic harp for the dying, to make the passage more peaceful. When she was in the Peace Corps she developed a system for illiterate women to keep track of their fertility cycles so they could more easily practice birth control by their religion's accepted rhythm method. Now she speaks to civic groups -- mostly older men who seem to have gotten through life without ever knowing how a woman's body works -- about her Peace Corps experience and accomplishments. So she tells everyone that her avocations in retirement are teaching old men about sex and helping people die.

Linn