SANTA GOT STUCK IN THE CHIMNEY FLUE
As sung by Dave Rudolf on "Completely Cracked Christmas"

1. Christmas comes but once a year
When all men fill with joy and cheer,
But it brings me just nervous tics
When I think of that old Saint Nick
'Cause when he came last Christmas Eve,
That's when the hell began for me.
He must have put on lots of weight,
'Cause he stuck up in our chimney grate.

CHORUS: Santa got stuck in the chimney flue.
Santa got stuck; we don't know what to do.
Now that jolly red face is turnin' blue,
'Cause Santa got stuck in the flue.
Santa got stuck in the chimney flue.
Santa got stuck; we don't know what to do.
He must have ate a lot 'cause he certainly grew.
Santa got stuck in the flue.

2. Now we've cut down his intake of food.
We dropped Jane Fonda tapes to view.
When stuck up there, he really tries,
But it's awful hard to aerobicize,
And birds who fly by drop their gifts.
Now the poor old guy is covered with it.
He's gettin' bored though he don't complain.
He's countin' bricks and goin' insane.

CHORUS

3. Now the neighbors they are all upset,
'Cause the Christmas decks* are still up yet.
They think the reindeers and the sleigh
Should be off our roof now that it is May,
And when next Christmas rolls around,
And Santa's nowhere to be found,
I can face those kids' pathetic frowns.
I'll have to tear that chimney down.

CHORUS TWICE

Santa got stuck in the flue.