I am a skinflint, a tightwad, a heartless SOB who has never given money to a panhandler before in my life. I figure most guys holding up signs saying "Will work for food" really won't. Try it. Open the car door and say, "Get in! You can mow my lawn and I'll feed you lunch!" See how many takers you get.

But this guy yesterday was holding a sign which said "Will NOT work for food, but WILL accept verbal abuse for spare change!" I opened the car window, handed him $5.00, told him he was a fucking genius, and chuckled all the way home.