Thanks Lighter- this may be close to what Britt sang.

THE SAILOR'S RETURN- The Three Hats Vol.2 (1950)
(Tune: "Our Gude Man')

Home came the sailor, home from the sea,
And there in the stable a strange horse did see.
"O wife, now tell me what can this mean,
"A strange brown horse where my mare should have been?"
"You old fool, you danged fool, you son-of-a-gun," said she,
"It's nothing but a milk cow my mother sent to me."
"Miles have I sailed, five thousand or more,
"But a cow without an udder I never saw before."

Home came the sailor, home from the sea,
And there in the parlor a strange coat saw he.
"O wife, now tell me what can this mean,
"A coat that's not mine where my coat should have been?"
"You old fool, you danged fool, you son-of-a-gun," said she,
"It's nothing but a blanket my mother sent to me."
"Miles have I sailed, five thousand or more,
"But buttons on a blanket I never saw before."

Home came the sailor, home from the sea,
And there in his bed a strange face did see.
"O wife, now tell me what does this mean,
"Another man's head where my own should have been?"
"You old fool, you danged fool, you son-of-a-gun," said she,
"It's nothing but a cabbage head my mother sent to me"
"Miles have I sailed, five thousand or more,
"But whiskers on a cabbage head I never saw before."