HOW DOES DENNIS DO IT?
As sung by Robbie O'Connell on "Humorous Songs – Live"

1. Now the world is full of wonders going back through history,
But there's one thing above all else that's a mystery to me:
When Margaret goes to bed at night and removes her armoured plate,
And demands that her poor husband do his service for the state—

CHORUS: Oh, how does Dennis do it? Does she tie him to the bed?
Or does she try to fool him with a bag upon her head?
Or maybe she arouses him with leather whips and chains?
Or invites some kinky friends around to have some fun and games?
Perhaps those lurid details should be left to history.
That he can do the job at all is what bewilders me.

2. When Cleopatra ruled the Nile, her charms were known worldwide,
And no man in his right mind would have shunned her as a bride,
But when it comes to Margaret, there could be no buts or ifs.
The men would run stampeding just like lemmings off a cliff.

3. Now if Margaret got frustrated, she could take a sudden fit
And push the deadly button that would blow us all to bits,
But Dennis never lets us down; he keeps her satisfied.
You could very nearly say that we all owe that man our lives.