My father is in the early stages of dementia. The decline in his mental health is mirrored by his decline in physical health - probably because he now can't look after himself as well as he once did.

He still lives alone but I visit every couple of days, bringing him meals, doing his washing and general household chores.

Care workers go in to him twice a day, every day. There's some invaluable support from the local community Mental Health team, but they're financially stretched so Dad can't get as much support as he really needs.

I've had to disconnect his gas cooker. I bought a tumble drier so I can at least walk away from him and know that he has clean and dry clothes. A favourite hobby of his is to urinate in the kitchen sink - or just wet his pants. When he wets his pants he just dries them over a radiator.

Reasoning doesn't work, he just can't comprehend - on the rare occasions he does, he just forgets.

It's VERY hard not to get cross but I try to remember that it's not his fault - it's an illness.

If you can, be cheerful with the dementia sufferer. Don't criticise them face-to-face, it just confuses and upsets them.

It's not easy. Dementia is a one-way street, it won't get better.

Next stop: a care home.

JJ