"Dormitory Rules"

On the first day of college, the Dean addressed
the students, pointing out some of the rules.

"The female dormitory will be out-of-bounds for
all male students, so too the male dormitory to
the female students. Anybody caught breaking
this rule will be fined $50 the first time. Anybody
caught breaking this rule the second time will be
fined $150. Being caught a third time will incur
a hefty fine of $350.

"Are there any questions?"

At this, a male student in the crowd inquired, "Err...
How much for a season pass?"

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"The Stork's Function"

Two storks were sitting in their nest: a father stork and baby
stork. Baby stork was crying and crying, and father stork was
trying to calm him, "Don't worry, son. Your mother will
come back. She's only bringing people babies and making
them happy."

The next night, it was father's turn to do the job. Mother and
son were sitting in the nest, son was crying, and mother said,
"Son, your father will be back as soon as possible, but now
he's bringing joy to new mommies and daddies."

A few days later, the stork parents were desperate. Their son
had been absent from the nest all night! Shortly before dawn, he
returned, and the parents asked him where he'd been all night.
Said the baby stork, "Nowhere in particular. Just scaring
the hell out of college students!"