I don't think any such thing. Off you go to join the ranks of the Joe-Jacko-pete school of serial misrepresentation.

Apropos of my scientific background, I have a degree in biological science from Imperial College. I taught biology in secondary schools for 25 years, much of that time as head of department, and became an assistant chief examiner (after ten years' distinguished service as an assistant examiner) in A Level biology for the University of London. I tell you this not in order to brag but in order to put this perpetual canard to rest once and for all. Snail, I have never given you "my version of science" (simply put, you're not worth it, internet stalker that you be) so why don't you just crawl away and do what those hermaphroditic gastropods do best (or, at least, would if they could).

Interesting that Jacko and Snail home in on li'l ol' me in spite of egregiously dreadful pete posts. Had I lacked my scientific background I'd probably have concluded that they were both closet religious fundamentalists. Instead, I'll just have to settle for the far more likely explanation that they're just bitter, jealous blokes with bees in their bonnets.

As for you, Musket, Sheffield Wednesday, I'm told, are so named in order for football aficionados to have another six days to follow Liverpool. As for harmonica players not buying their round, they're doing you a favour. If we ever try to carry more than a single pint at a time we always end up dribbling in the beer.