A few silly bits.

The Name of the Game

cricket n Extremely popular British sport with no discernible rules, beginning, end, or point. It's not clear that there ever is a winner

polo n. An Anglo-Indian game in which two teams on horseback flay away at a small ball with mallets. Devised by the Brits in India and Burma between tea breaks. The fact that the time units are call chukkers indicates that gin plays a role, somewhere, in the whole process.

poussette n. A country style dance in which couples join hands, swing around the floor, and generally act like they enjoy living in rural poverty. Comes from the French (which figures somehow) and might have something to do with the mental state one has to be in to consider using cabbage for soup with snails as a main course.

soccer n. A European warm-up exercise for rioting.

Old Favorites

A good man has few enemies. A ruthless man has none.

A lack of leadership is no substitute for inaction.

A liberal is someone too poor to be a capitalist and too rich to be a communist

A poet who reads his verse in public may have other nasty habits.

A rose by any other name would be "deadly thorn-bearing assault vegetation."

A sucking chest wound is just nature's way of telling you to slow down.

As soon as you pull out the pin, Mister Hand Grenade stops being your friend.

At first there was nothing. Then God said 'Let there be light!' Then there was still nothing. But you could see it.

Between two evils, always pick the one you never tried before.

Del Mar: Where poverty is neither a philosophy nor a way of life.

Drive defensively; buy a tank.

He was so narrow-minded he could see through a keyhole with both eyes.

If at first you don't succeed, redefine "success."

Jake liked his women how he liked his kiwi fruit; firm yet yielding, sweet yet tart, and covered with short fuzzy brown hair.

Never trust a cop with a rubber glove.

No man is an island, but then no man is a potato salad, either.

Power corrupts. Absolute power is kinda neat.

Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away. (Philip K. Dick)

troll