I just remembered... the only times I ever came close to hitting anyone, and told them so, was years ago when many people smoked and it was not unknown to have someone intentionally blow smoke in my face. They NEVER did it again- I guess my reaction spoke for itself.
   I have not needed to physically 'defend' myself since the bully in the 6th grade decided to win 'status' by pushing me around after school. He grabbed me in front of the two ^{high status} guys, and I twisted around, put his left arm in a serious half-nelson, and pushed his face into the grass. I guess that was a 'loss of temper', but I never said a word.... and he never bothered me again.