Anyway why do we need members? We can be like The Church of England...

Excellent point. They claim mass membership yet only 3.8 people per service actually go to church (unless Songs Of Praise is in town, in which case the church is stuffed to the rafters). I'm just wondering about virtual services. Can one photoshop videos?

We need an evangelical loony sailor to help us. Any ideas?

Yeah, this is getting urgent. "Concerened" desperately needs a photo of him in order to get to work on the medallion. We're considering hooped fisherman's smock but no eye-patch or parrot. Pirate headgear is a possibility (though you can get a fancy-dress sailor's bonnet and matching scarf for four quid on Amazon), but good taste must at all costs prevail, of course. Problems, issues, Wacko...?