And I shall set up the reformed whatever the hell we call ourselves. ...

Perhaps the bingo was a bad idea. A bit too much like other religions in terms of promises of material reward that gullible people fall for but it is always the club secretary's missus who wins the meat platter.

We should have stuck to promising an afterlife where adherents are in paradise but thats not being enough, non believers get tortured by a devil for eternity. You can't promise the former without the latter as it panders to the greed and hard wired nastiness of shallow people.

How's about we book a turn for Saturday night? Some '70s club comics wanting to make a bob or two in order to get new hard disks for their laptops. Just the thing for acolytes, misogyny, queer bashing and casual racism.   Our pews will overflow.   Might even convert a few Methodists with that offer. ...