Ok. You got me there.

Jerk.
Seaman Stains
Whacko
Jack the prat
Rt Rev Admiral Whackoff

By the way, he's your friend too. Or at least you have been known to quote him and agree with him.

Just out of interest, I would happily say I am a Christian if it got my children in a state school of my choice, and until a UK government reverses the outrageous faith state schools, most people do. But on a technicality, both my sons went to a comprehensive school with no religion rammed down their throats. So I never did say that, as I said at the time, my mate did and in similar circumstances I would. My taxes pay for state education, not the millions held in Church of England trust funds.

I answer to a higher authority. My responsibility to give my children a good start in life.