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I was reading Rick's "Funny" thread and got thinking about some of my favourite lines that I was actually there for. I'm sure that some of you have some beauties to share.

A gruup of my buddies have an annual Golf trip to Wheeling, West Virginia. One of the reasons we go there is that it is ridiculously inexpensive compared to Toronto. We pay about $5.00 for a drink in Canada, about $1.50 in Wheeling. One year in Wheeling we were in a cab on the way to our local when we passed a club that hadn't been there the year before. I asked the cab driver, a crotchety old West Virginian what the new place was like. He replied, "I don't know for sure, but I hear it's real expensive." I seized this and said "what would a feller have to pay for a mixed drink in there?" He replied, "Well, I ain't never been there, but I hear it's $1.75" My buddy in the back seat doesn't miss a beat and says vehemently "Thievin' Bastards".

I was at an Art Showing at a pretty upscale place in Toronto. I must also say that I'm a weirdo magnet. If there's one in the crowd, they find me. So this strange looking guy with a weird accent starts talking to me. I try to have a normal conversation with him, but anything I say he has a cryptic answer. I'm trying to come up with something that he has to give a straight reply, so I ask him what he does for a living. He gives me this superior look and says "I am the Ruler of The World." I looked him right in the eye and said "great, do you have a business Card?"