YOU CANNOT MAKE YOUR SHIMMY SHAKE ON TEA
(Rennold Wolf and Irving Berlin, 1919)

'Tis a sad sad day for me
This day of lemonade and tea
For now my dancing aspirations haven't got a chance
In the Harlem cabarets.
I used to spend my nights and days
Partaking of my favorite indoor sport, the shimmy dance
Oh the day they introduced their prohibition laws
They just went and ruined the greatest shimmy dancer because:

1st refrain-
You cannot make your shimmy shake on tea
It simply can't be done
You'll find your shaking ain't taking

Unless you has the proper jazz (sic)
That only comes with such drinks as
Green River, Haig and Haig, and Hennessey.

Way out in China
Among the pale Chinese
There's nothing finer
Than good old China teas.

But then you never saw a Chinaman
A-shaking his chemise
'Cause you cannot make your shimmy shake on tea.

2nd refrain-
You cannot make your shimmy shake on tea
It simply can't be done
You'll find your shaking ain't taking.

The shimmy, it is intricate
And so you needs a little bit
Of Scotch or rye to lubricate your knee.

A cup of Ceylon
It may be strong or weak
Won't help you spoil on
Because it's much too meek

Besides, a drink that's soft
Will very often ruin your technique
No, you cannot make your shimmy shake on tea.

www.oldielyrics.com

Rennold Wolf wrote the sketches, music and lyrics to Ziegfield Follies 1919, but Irving Berlin contributed "You'd Be Surprised," (see thread) and "I've Got My Captain Working For Me Now."
Berlin's name is attached to "You Cannot Make ....." but I couldn't find his exact involvement in the song.

A version of the song and dance on youtube.