Indwelling catheters over a long period do involve health risks. I had to have one for about ten months following a heart operation, and waiting for operations for prostate reduction and kidney stones, and halfway through that period I developed a serious infection that very nealy killed me.

So I can understand the reluctance to put you on one, especially as a permanent thing, so long as there may be alternatives. You need proper advice on this, and on alternatives, and it sounds as if that isn't been made available. One thing I noted, you say you need to drink a lot - has the possibility that you may have some formy of diabetes been explored?

It sounds to me that you really could use some kind of outside person to help you as an advocate. In our struggles with the authorities over the years in connection with our daughter we've found it very helpful to have that kind of back-up, even though we are highly articulate, and pretty forceful.

"I can understand in a way cos this woman's not disabled". I can't. Care work is difficult and demanding, but having a real appreciation of the circumstances of the person you are working for is a central part of it. And that includes understanding if your volcanic temper erupts at time - though you need to understand how that must be difficult, and it sounds as if you do.

One thing - be thankful you've got the music!