"Sometimes, the only "respectful boundary" involves not engaging..."

That's right, Jeri, and in real 3-D life that is usually not much problem to deal with. You pick up really negative signals or suspect having nothing in common with someone? You don't engage with them. On the Internet, however, you have no idea who is listening in on a conversation and who is going to react negatively to what you have just said...and therein lies the problem.

It's as if you were having a pleasant conversation over a cup of coffee with a couple of other people about something you're mutually interested in...not realizing that the conversation is being broadcast by a hidden microphone to everyone in the entire shopping mall...and there are bound to be some people in that shopping mall who disagree totally with you and all your values, and what if they came bristling up to your table and starting immediately fighting with you about your "stupid beliefs" (whatever those might be) and insulting you in every way they can think of?

Would that be conducive to continuing a good conversation? Uh-uh.

That's what the Internet is like. That's what happens here. It's creepy. It's unnecessary. It's unproductive. It's anti-social behaviour. It helps no one. I deal with it after a bit by just going off and doing something else instead. That means less time on Mudcat, which is probably just fine, actually.