Early on, one of my favorite short-story writers was H. H. Munro, better known as "Saki." One was a story entitled, "Tobermory." Tobermory was a cat.

Synopsis:

At a country house party, one guest, Cornelius Appin, announces to the guests that he has perfected a method of teaching animals human speech. He demonstrates this on his host's cat, Tobermory.

Soon it is clear that animals are permitted to hear and see many things on the assumption that they will remain silent. Such as the host, Sir Wilfred's comments on one guest's intelligence, or the sexual activities of another guest. The guests are furious, of course.

Plans to poison Tobermory fail when he runs away to pursue a rival cat, but to the relief of his owner, Tobermory is killed by the rival cat.

Cornelius Appin's marvelous achievement obviously has some drawbacks. But not to worry. Before he can teach his method to anyone else, he is killed while attempting to teach a zoo's elephant to speak.

So—you just never know. . . .

Don Firth