The Mudcat Café TM
Thread #59418   Message #3556116
Posted By: gnu
04-Sep-13 - 02:16 PM
Thread Name: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
3 days? I was told it was two by a Maineac you missed. Unfortunate for you both but I understand you "missed the turn".

Now. Where are my god damned Vidalias? After I found the roast beef not to my liking (even tho you and Abe praised it up) I cracked an ale, sat down and thought, "What shall I do?" Time was of the essence. What could I thaw quick and masterfully chef up? Nada except maybe a pasta dish. Damn! I recalled that Sobeys had lean ground beef on sale and I am a BBQ whiz so I had another ale and went through my inventory. NO DILL PICKLES? Seriously... WTF?! Tomatoes... check. Lettuce... none but, hey, fuck that sallymenelly crap. Vidalia on... WHAT? Ya gotta be shittin me! Right... everything else was in stock so I cracked another ale and formulated a plan.

Start the BBQ to get it warmed just right for BBQd burgers. Jump in the iron horse and flash up ta Sobeys fer buns, ohhhnyohn and dills. I was pissed at the fact that there was not ONE bottle of dills so I bought sweets. There were no vidalias! I asked the lad... bags by the each. I don't want a bag... them fuckers are too small and there are too many. He ripped open a bag and told me to take what I wanter and he would mark them at the equivaent price per pound of $2. $2!!?? Not time to go to the Coop so, yeah, okay... 4.

I got home and, in jig time, cracked an ale, slapped out a dozen patties and sizzled. All effort for naught as the lads went straight for the roast beef, spuds, carrots and geenie beanies. I tried the beef as well. I was shocked. Somehow, in the fridge, it had turned into a lovely roast! But, that is not the end of the strange occurences.

Today, I decided to serve burgers for supper. My fridge held the sweet pickles but no Vidalias. Musta put em in the fridge downstairs. Nope. ? Back to the upstairs fridge for a thorough shelf by shelf search. Still none. Musta left em in the truck? Nope. I even checked the cupboards and the microwave (yes, the microwave but I refuse to check the dishwasher in case they are in there). There are NO Vidalia onions anywhere.

There is only one conclusion that can be drawn... Amos is an onion thief.

Or I left them at Sobeys.