When I was on SSRIs for five years or so I frequently had suicidal thoughts and sometimes homicidal intent. Trying to come off them was horrible. A year later I tried again & this time it was a breeze. Now my lows are not so low & I'm less angry. If the position were reversed, I'd be singing the praises of SSRIs. As it is, I suspect they can make you a whole lot worse just when you needed something to help.
It's a good thing that I didn't have a gun when I was ill.