C4 all his troubles? That would indeed be "interesting".

I received an urgent communication from a lad earlier today enquiring after a delivery that he made to my humble abode whilst the Pats were in the process of thrashing their third opponent of the Yankee Football season. I went fire forward immediately. Normally, I would have fired upon opening the door when being taken away from a Pats game but, when I saw he was bearing gifts, I lowered my weapon. When he said "Mooze and bar clams.", I safetied backward and accepted. I even took time to tell him the score in the Pats game before I said, "I gotta get back to the game. Thanks." and shut the door. His message read, "Try the mooze yet?" Normally, I tell people to "just leave me alone" but I made an exception in this case and responded as follows...

Nope. Beer and chicken wings on Sundays and Mondays (football)*. Tuesday is garbage day upon which all leftovers are eaten or chucked. Wednesday is diet day with fruit & veggies. Thursday is diet day with fruit & veggies and beer (football). Fish on Fridays. So it'll be Saturday at the earliest, later if the weather is warm.

* Week 2, 4, 6... are wing weeks.** Week 1 is chili week as it's always warm enough to open the windows. Week 3, normally Bratwurst, hot Italian, etc sausage week (see week 1 for supporting details) has recently be rescheduled to burger week (BBQ looks possible) as Coop has lean burger for $2.49, Vlassic pickles on 50p off with coupon attached to jar. HINT : The coupons are on old stock (and in my wallet) but the new stock is in the rear of the shelf. Vlassic is USA. Do not support you local Coop brand pickles as they are from India. Note that Coop has the best price on Vidalias.

**Wing weeks may be altered upon a vote by quorum the preceding week but mooze and bar clams are NOT options on accounta I ain't tellin NObody shit! Also, wing weeks may be altered to Sal's Pizza if Sal has the 16 Works pies on for $15. Best buy in town!!! Plus, I can stagger there and back... them there $515 pizzas do not interest me. AND, the buggers are cold by the time ya get yer truck outta impound!

PS RG3 sucks! WHO IN FUCK DUNNO HOW TO TUCK???!!! What the fuck was he doin pretendin ta be a back in the first place? QBs do NOT fall forwrad in open field. I hope the dumb fuck got a hefty club fine fer that shit! Cost me COIN and braggin rights.

PSS Ya like cherry matahs? I might have some extra. Depends on the rain... I lost about 100 last big rain.
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Now, the above may not be quality BS of the calibre of some who grace Mum's Motherthread but it is, nonetheless, bullshit. Quantity is all I have to offer by times, mind. Yer welcome.