The ceremony bits that include the legal recorder are either vicar or registrar. A vicar if you want to be in a church, or a registrar elsewhere. As I am not a member of any cult with other arrangements, including the rather silly "alternatives without God" people, I fail to see how they apply.

Churches with organs, drafty hard pews, up to a thousand years of history etc are an ideal place for a traditional wedding. If you can't have the experience of King James language, Bach and a quarter peal, then for me personally, the only alternative is a registrar asking the questions and filling in the legal forms. A local hotel supplied the food, drink, bed and somewhere for the band to plug in their p.a.

If you ask people to think about what the vicar is actually saying, then watch out. Far better people let it wash over them than realise they are saying you cannot raise children unless you are grateful to their imaginary friend, or you need a fictional 2000 year old bloke to guide you because you cannot be trusted to do the right things in life without the concept.

I did listen to the irrelevant waffle at a funeral a while ago and thought it rather insulting, as my friend wasn't superstitious yet he was one of the nicest people I had ever met. To listen to a bloke who never met him say he was guided by Jesus blah blah was disgraceful.

No. Far Better normal people enjoy the tradition when it suits them or they want it as a public service. Churches might do well to be grateful for that if they want to remain churches. Already, my wife says there are a large number of rings of bells in buildings that used to be churches but are no more, but their new use included keeping the bells, for which she and her fellow bell ringers are grateful. One close to us actually, now a council run arts centre, but a Victorian town centre church.

Which brings us back to Keith from La La Land.

Just think. Real Christians reckon the demise of the church is due to boutique Christians who think they are too clever and sophisticated to actually believe but think they are clever by saying they have belief.

Buggered if I can get my head around that. I must be ignorant after all! Thanks for telling me. Takes one to know one I suppose.