At Orgreave eh?

We noticed a load of agitators at the back shouting "Charge!" And the police were quite bemused to see us turn and beat the crap out of the Socialist Workers Party idiots hijacking and exacerbating our genuine grievance.

Obviously, you weren't there, but I like to think you was. I left before the riot act was read out and take no pride in the mess that followed, but giving outside agitators a good hiding was almost as good as when we were queuing for food parcels and a photographer was on the other side of the road snapping away. I was one of those who held him whilst we spoilt his film and smashed his camera. Didn't hurt him, but the leader in the Sun the following day spoke of the thugs who attacked him.

Ah never mind. Once I saw my barbecued donkey on the road to Damascus, I decided being a filthy rotten capitalist allowed for a better vintage of pinot. Never looked back...

Be careful with your fantasy old chap. Some of us had to live them out for you.