THE WHALE
As sung by Burl Ives on "Burl Ives Sings Little White Duck and Other Children's Favorites" (1951) and "The Folk Collection Volume One" (2013).

In San Francisco town there lived a whale.
She ate porkchops by the pail,
By the pillbox, by the suitcase,
By the bathtub, by the schooner.

Her name was Sarah and she's a peach,
But you can't leave food within her reach,
Nor nursemaids, nor airedales,
Nor chocolate ice-cream sodas.

She eats a lot, but when she smiles,
You can see her teeth for miles and miles,
And her adenoids, and her spareribs,
And things too fierce to mention.

So what can you do in a case like that?
What can you do but sit on your hat,
Or your toothbrush, or your grandmother,
Or anything else that's helpless?