You could be as left field and irrational as you like but you'd still make more sense than the learned philosophers spouting bollocks. At least you actually say bollocks.

Snail. My take on my co Messiah's pronouncements are revealed only at the closed session of our synod. I break rank when it comes to footie and real musical instruments but science fact and philosophy are his domain not mine.

I think therefore I am.
I don't think therefore I'm Muskets pet greyhound.

Easy.