"Has Anyone Ever Told You..."

After the Halloween party, as the couple
was driving home, the woman asks her
husband, "Honey, has anyone ever told
you how handsome, sexy and irresistible
to women you are?"

The flattered husband said, "No, dear,
they haven't."

The wife then softly inquired, "Then what
the heck gave you that idea at the
party tonight?"

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"Why Pumpkins Are Better Than Men"

1. Every year you get a brand new crop
to choose from.
2. No matter what your mood is, pumpkins
are always ready to greet you with a smile.
3. One usually makes a better pie.
4. They are always on the doorstep there
waiting for you!
5. If you don't like the way he looks, you just
carve up another face.
6. If he starts smelling up your place, you
can just throw him out.
7. From the start you know a pumpkin has
an empty, mush filled head to begin with.
8. A pumpkin is turned on (lit-up) only when
you want him to be.