Here's one you can use (if you ever need to):

My wife's band once gave a concert and literally no one came - at least not on time. It wasn't their fault. They had been hired to play at an Irish festival which was being held in the local armory. There was lots of stuff going on in the main hall but the concerts were being held in little side rooms that weren't very well marked. I think people either just weren't aware there was a concert going on, or had trouble finding the room.

Anyway, several minutes after the concert was scheduled to start, ONE person walked in the door. My wife said, "At last! We have an audient!"

I THOUGHT this was an impromptu pun, but it turns out it had been going around for a while among her circle of musician friends. She was surprised, though, when I looked it up and found that "audient" is a perfectly good word. It means "one who listens." But "audience" is NOT simply the plural of "audient," although the joke depends on its seeming so.