Another song with the same title.

I found most of these lyrics on a Google cache copy of the songwriter's CDBaby page, and I added a verse that was omitted there but on the recording (as well as correcting spelling and punctuation). I heard it on Spotify.

THE BUMPER STICKER SONG
Written by Gary Ballen
As recorded live at The Pickwick Pub in Woodland Hills, California (2012).

Well, I's cruisin' down the highway in my '67 Goat.
With the radio blastin' I was singin' every note.
When I looked into the mirror, comin' up on me
Was the craziest car I ever did see.

Bumper stickers, bumper stickers ev'rywhere!
On the windows and the chrome, on the paint and on the spare.
There was little ones, big ones, blue, green, and red.
If you listen to my song, I'll tell you what they said.

CHORUS: if you can read this sticker, you're much too close.
Truckers carry a bigger load.
If you love Jesus, honk your horn.
Slow down; I brake for unicorns.
Females wanted; inquire within.
Save water; shower with a friend.
Don't follow me; I'm lost as hell.
Complaints to the driver can be hazardous to your health.

Well, cancer is the cure for smokin'.
Support your local police.
I love New York; I love L.A.
I love my pekingese.

Arrive alive; drive sixty-five.
Have you hugged your kids today?
America: love it or leave it.
One nuclear bomb can ruin your whole day. CHORUS

Divers do it deeper.
Teachers do it with class.
I'd rather be sailin'; I'd rather be skiin'.
Get off o' my ass. CHORUS