Where are you thinking of going? Heavily tourist areas tend to be safe. I would take statements like "kidnappings are commonplace" with several grains of salt. I lived in Jalisco for a year in the 90's, quite happily, but things were calmer then, I guess. I cross the border several times a year for dental work, and never even see a problem let alone have one.

The best advice on situations in far-away places is the US Foreign Service who keep notifications of hotspots on their web site.