Chorus:
If you run into
a five foot Jew
covered in thorns
da, da, da

Changes water into wine
Bet your (smack your butt) that he's divine

Virgin Mary, she's the most
She got (slap your knee) by the holy ghost

Has anybody seen J. C.?
J.C., J.C., J.C

Verses:
Holes in his hands
Holes in his feet
And his best friend's name is pete
Has anybody seen J.C.?
(chorus)

He's real neat
He's real cool
He just walked across my pool
Has anybody seen J. C.?
(chorus)

Heals the sick
Feeds the poor
And his girlfriend is a whore
Has anybody seen J.C.?
(chorus)

Sits on rocks
Talks a lot
Raises kids from cemetery plots
Has anybody seen J.C.?
(chorus)


And to end it, after the last "Has anybody seen J.C.?" get down on a knee and sing (more slowly):
Not since ascension.
Has anybody seen J.C.?