Claire, here in the US we have a saying attributed to Native Americans: There are many variations of it, but one I learned was "Never judge other people until you've walked a mile in their moccasins." That carer is judging you without walking a mile in your moccasins--or being confined to your wheelchair. I guess the nicest way to interpret what she is saying is that she is expressing wishful thinking that you could do more. Of course if you could do a lot more, she might no longer be needed on the job!