growing up, we always spent Christmas Eve at my Italian grandparents' house: big sit-down dinner with lots of noise, kids and traditional foods. Which meant no meat until midnight; so there were lots of fish dishes including fried smelt, calamari and eels. I like smelt (I actually had some piping hot right out of the fryer last year and nearly lost my mind it was so damn good; all those years eating it lukewarm! The waste!) but wouldn't eat the other stuff. My grandfather took pity and let me eat his special roasted chicken (with oilive oil, red wine vinegar, garlic and rosemary) before midnight sinc ehe knew I didn't like the squidgy seafood. He was the chef (he taught me his secrets for making sauce, bracciola, and meatballs), his wife was the hostess who refused to sit down until everyone had what they needed...

On Christmas Day, another big old-fashioned sit-down with the Irish/English side of the family: turkey, ham, scalloped oysters, Yorkshire pudding, cranberry sherbet (my grandnother made this and it was amazing), sweet and mashed potatoes, green bean casserole, plenty of pies (mincemeat sometimes) and LOTS of different kinds of cookies.

These days both events are much smaller affairs. From twenty to thirty people, all seated, to buffet-style meals for ten or twelve. My father's sister is nowhere near the cook her father was: her lasagna contains ricotta cheese, but no mozzarella or parmesan; and virtually no seasoning to the sauce. I eat spaghetti and drink red wine and silently toast my long-dead grandparents and their artful meals (which they also served every damn Sunday; Grandpa would cook the sauce from scratch and let it simmer all night) and Christmases past...

And on Christmas Day, when we nibble all day and usually don't have room for a big dinner, my mom has been known to make instant mashed potatoes (not when I'm there! I make them myself and I almost have my family grudgingly accepting my mashed potatoes made *with* the potato skins) and she STILL cooks the turkey all night long in a slow oven (even though it is now a ten-pounder instead of a thirty-pounder) and so it is often dry. Sometimes she still makes gravy from scratch.

Sigh. How many of our Christmas memories are centered around the delightful (and sometimes scary) traditional foods prepared, as they were in the old days, with love and care and the haunting mystical quality of hundreds of years of authenticity?

I think we were healthier then, when more people actually cooked meals at home; our food had more love stirred into it. Home cooking is healthy because it is fresh and hot, yes, but also because those who cook it imbue it with care and magic for the loved ones who will enjoy it.

Happy Holidays!