Ok. I grudgingly accept that Shankly was a demi God. If you happen to be a scouser with Scottish roots. Ok? (Derek Dooley topped him till his being cast from heaven and being tempted by the pits of hell.)

Conkers is an amusing pastime. Whacking your nuts together with a purpose can be fun. Although if the other person has no nuts, for me all the better.

Hey lover! Can we get this sorted before I start buying you flowers and the occasional milk stout. ... have you got an obvious Adams apple? Not an issue, cosmopolitan man of the world and all that. ... but having driven me to distraction, I need to know if there is a reverse gear. Or indeed a gear knob.... xxx