False idolatry. You have been tempted by shiny baubles. Trophy cabinets should be austere with the occasional FA Cup from medieval times and the resurrection. (1991 League Cup under the prophet Ron Atkinson. )

Does this mean its over beloved? I never got to serenade you or buy you a bag of chips with scraps. Still, you recognised talent from an early start and that can't be all bad. I notice my co Messiah is making overtures. I can heartily recommend him if you feel you aren't quite up to my standards. Ok, the gob iron recitals may take some getting used to and he wouldn't make a good teacher when it comes to football. ..

Perhaps we can start a thread on what our standards used to be before the ball and chain? Mine were fairly high for a teenage lad living in Worksop. Two tits and a heartbeat.