IMPORTANT BREAKING NEWS; The following has just come through on the carrier pigeon. No, not the pigeon that got eaten by the cat. The other one.

"Blitherscrum Folk Festival Committee has very generously and wisely agreed to offer a discount of 2.5% to all ticket holders who will be willing to dig the sink holes needed to drain the flood water on the festival site. Particpants must bring their own shovels. A prize will be given to the person who digs the deepest hole."

Sounds like they mean business this year. Remember that time when the sewage flooded the bar and got into the beer kegs? Everyone said how nice it was to have a beer you could taste for a change.