The Mudcat Café TM
Thread #59418   Message #3586595
Posted By: gnu
25-Dec-13 - 02:37 PM
Thread Name: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
Well, Mum and I got some stuff for the spring yard sale. Unless I put em on kijiji before that. Mum don't never say shit even if she had a mouthful but on the way home, she cut loose! Best laugh we've had in days. She said she wanted to look over at me but she knew she wouldn't be able to keep a straight face. I was amazed at her poise when she held up one 3-part gift and proudly displayed it for all and uttered, "Isn't that lovely?". She was hiding her face and I had to stifle myself and cover with a cough. It was true trash.

I home 1.5 hours ago and decided WTH, I'll see what this stuff smells like. Two small pump spray bottles of Eau de Merde that my niece sells (got two bonus air freshers hangy thingies for the truck). Wouldn't work until I turned it upside downy. A tiny bit half squirted and half sprayed and was immediately assaulted with acrid and vile odor which I cannot descibe. I left the kitchen in haste. I am now in the orifice and the assault continues. Hmmm... there is roughly 450 cu m of airspace in this house (I have forced air heating). The liquid volume estimate is 100 cu mm. Soooo, the volume ratio of Eau de Merde to air is 1:450,000,000. Since I can't open the windows like Rap can in his far more mild weather, I should be free from the reek in a matter of hours because I smoke and drink and they both numb the senses of odor and taste.

Turkey and ham dinner wasn't too bad. There was sparkly pop and I had a few smokes. >;-)

The presentries were fun when the autistic lad got a lot of gifts and he truly appreciated them. The joy I saw on his face made the trial worthwhile.

Now, about the fuckin cranberries in the turkey dressing..... there oughta be a law!